How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk By Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish – Spotify Audiobook

4.75/5

I thoroughly enjoyed this audiobook. I feel like I learned so much and have actually been able to put a few of the ideas into practice. This book relies on the fact that children are their own people with their own feelings, which is absolutely true. Their feelings are real and big and they should be validated, but that does not mean their actions should be. 

The book takes you through all of the authors’ advice in the form of tools to fill your parental tool box. They give real life examples of the ways they spoke to their children in their own home, how they raised them. They also gave real life examples of how they helped other people. The general format is each chapter going through a list of tools to use giving real life examples of each. In some chapters you get practice examples to think about what you would have done and now how you can use the tools given to you to deal with each situation. This book is interactive and gives you a lot to think about. 

Aryi is not at an age where we can use all of the tools in this book, however there is one in particular that has saved me so many times. It works like a charm. Choices. Who would have thought that I can say do you want to read a book or sing a song to get Aryi to go to bed. Who knew I could say do you want a regular bath or a bubble bath to get him to walk straight to the tub. This tool works I would say 90% of the time. It gets Aryi to stop screaming, pay attention to what I am saying, and oftentimes move into action. There are 2 reasons usually that this does not work. They are when he wants to watch TV, but we are not doing that at the time and when his dad leaves for any reason (this one is guaranteed a full on meltdown). It isn’t perfect, nothing is, but I am grateful for the other 90% of the time that it works. 

This book also talks about the creativeness and humor that can be used. This is another tool I love. If you can make something fun or funny, your kid is more likely to listen. 

Overall, this was a great book that I recommend to any parent that is against physical punishment (like us), or any parent who just wants more tools to use.