Be There
December 12, 2023
My Privilege
First, I want to say that I am in a different position than other people, that I did not have other children to take care of while going through this NICU experience. I am very privileged in that I got 3 months off work and when I went back I was able to go back as a PRN twice a week and the days I worked my husband was off. I am very privileged that I got to sit in the chair next to my baby or hold my baby for 12-16 hours a day. I am not saying be there every single second. I am saying, be there as much as possible for you.
When is it important to be there?
In the NICU, there are a few key important parts of the day. It is super important to be present for rounds as often as possible. They usually will give you a time frame like it should be between 9am and 12pm. This is the time that the doctors come in and evaluate your baby and make decisions about their care. One mama was unable to be there at this time and her nurse would call when the doctors did their rounds so she could be a part of it. You can not advocate for your child properly if you do not know what is going on. You may think the doctors and nurses can handle it, they will decide what is best, but they are human and they will make mistakes. Another important time to be present is at the baby’s “care time”. This is the time that your nurse will evaluate, change, and feed your baby. If you are there at this time depending on the hospital, they may let you change your baby, take your baby’s temperature, and perform “oral care” or rubbing breast milk on the gums. This is also the perfect time to do skin to skin or pick up your baby since they have been woken up, you can cuddle them back to sleep or feed them if your baby is breast or bottle feeding. This is a special time to interact with your baby who will at first be sleeping all day.
What can you do when sitting in the NICU for 12 hours a day?
Like I said above, if you are there during rounds or care times, this is an excellent time to really be involved in your child’s care. A lot of the time a NICU baby just sleeps. Aryi really enjoyed contact naps. I would do a contact nap with him for like 3 hours a day. My husband did skin to skin and read to him. I read him the Harry Potter books while he was sleeping in his crib. When he was awake I read him board books and showed him black and white pictures. Eventually Aryi left his incubator and stayed awake longer. We started doing tummy time in the crib and eventually moved down to a mat on the floor. I talked to the nurses and everyone on his care team. I mostly just enjoyed being with Aryi.